Win against your gremlins
A likeable kind and gentle person, Christina is a generous and giving soul. She is a nurse who works in a pediatric ward, loves working with children, and has delightful 2 middle schoolers of her own at home.
But Christina does not feel very happy. Here’s how she describes her typical day:
“Every free moment is spent shuttling my children from one activity or friend’s house to another. Dinners are hurried and half-thought out. Several friends are going through big things in their lives and need my time to talk things over. I have to squeeze in household shopping, various errands for the family, for my husband, doing friends favors…”
You get the picture. It’s called “overload.” And she is doing it to herself.
She allows others to lay claim to her time and energy without setting boundaries. You’ve heard the saying: “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” Well, Christina is that person.
The truth, though, is that in over-valuing everyone else’s needs, she under-estimates the importance of her own needs and keeps them hidden and suppressed.
Perhaps you are more like Dede. Dede is is highly motivated and keen to make her mark in the world.
After retiring from a good six-figure job in the corporate world, Dede began her coaching business with a vision, mission, and core values statement, but she has not made the progress she had hoped.
Dede wants to make a big impact! Her vision statement includes the phrase:
“Empowering people to achieve their greatest potential and realize their dreams.”
A wonderful vision, but far too broad. Dede is a dreamer. She has so many great ideas about helping everyone. She has so many projects going – each serving a different idea of what she can give and who she can serve.
Nothing gets finished. Before she has worked out the details and a plan of action for something, the next idea has taken hold and Dede is off on a tangent, working on and spreading the word about her next big idea.
Her excitement and enthusiasm are contagious, and she has the reputation for being so vivacious and upbeat. But she’s hurting inside. Her lack of success is a source of real disappointment and pain.
Only when she sets priorities – chooses which mountain she will climb – and commits herself to a specific plan of action will Dede begin to make the progress she wants.
How do you sabotage yourself…
- Have to be the best, and set the bar so high you can never succeed?
- Set the bar so low you can never do more than just survive?
- Spend so much energy rationalizing why you should or should not do something, you never actually get it done?
- Get so wrapped up in the process of doing something you loose sight of why you are doing it and so get no satisfaction?
Everyone has their own gremlins, the little voices in our heads and hearts that lead us astray. Battling them is not the answer, though. That’s like trying not to picture a Pink elephant.
Get to know your challenges – the “stories” your gremlins habitually create to hold you back. Don’t ignore, suppress or fight them. Then turn those “challenges” into strengths.
Get those gremlins working for you instead of against you.
Then everything becomes so much clearer and easier!